The Department of Government Efficiency has swiftly uncovered 535 government employees based in the Capitol Building who have not performed any work for years.

An internal memo from DOGE revealed that identifying this group of unproductive individuals was surprisingly straightforward. Elon Musk commented on the situation via a post on X, stating, “This group represents one of the most excessive examples of government inefficiency imaginable. Records indicate they haven’t accomplished anything productive in decades—completely unnecessary and just waiting to be cut.” Reports suggest that these 535 individuals have lingered in D.C. for an extended period. When questioned about their roles, most responded with indifference, while a few entertained themselves by reading “One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish” for hours. At the time of publication, the group claimed to have contributed to the nation by creating various spreadsheets, memos, and resolutions.